(Source: modellove, via infinitelull)

(Source: extinto, via either--or)

I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..

(Source: vonmunsterr, via either--or)

I’m really afraid to feel happy because it never lasts.
So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.

Anonymous said: why don't you live in NYC?

HAHA, best question ever. Honestly, I ask myself this question every day every other day.

I moved to Boston for one reason only—an amazing opportunity to challenge myself professionally and put action to where words were. Dream job (if you will) just not dream city. And let me tell you, it’s been tough. Very tough.

Sometimes I feel like I can come to “like” Boston, but most of the time, I’m sad. I don’t have many girl or guy friends here and that’s tough in your mid-twenties. It’s not me, it’s them. (har har) That said, I went with my gut to do something that scared me (move to completely new state after one phone interview and one in-person interview), and do I regret it? No—because I’m a workaholic—and I would never forgive myself for taking the easy way out.

But besides that, Boston’s been good because I’m getting to grow the fuck up and be a real person and try to learn more about who I am—just as a person. There’s a bubble that forms when you’re comfortable and I was living in that. So then Setempber came along and completely threw my “plan” for a loop and I said, fuck it, let’s do Boston… maybe it’ll be the best experience (maybe I’ll meet my husband, maybe I’ll meet some amazing people, maybe I’ll eat some really good oysters, etc), but even if isn’t, it will be just that… an experience.

I go to the gym. I read. I cook… A LOT. So if anything, I joke that Boston is making me more domestic. I’m usually in bed at a normal time before midnight whereas I was going to bed at 2AM-4AM. I’m not working crazy hours. I get to think, be inspired, do my own thing and it’s been truly rewarding. Boston does have a better quality of life in that sense.

I’m also “dating” which is beyond LULZ for me because I’m not like that and I surely didn’t attempt to date have time to date wasn’t ok with myself while back in NYC. Either way, it’s interesting and goes back to “those experiences” I’m seeking to figure out who I am as individual/as a person/accepting that and being vulnerable (?) with someone else. It’s a weird renaissance. haha

Back to the friends thing because it’s a topic I want to address as a “young adult” whereas most people don’t/avoid/or ignore, I’m lacking a solid group of friends here so that really bums me out. I never thought in a million years making friends would be hard, and I honestly know I’m a great friend and loyal/thoughtful—I just think the people that I’m meeting here aren’t the right ones or their actions are qualities that I don’t look in friends. So it’s like do I want to have company that kinda is flip floppy/flakey just because you need that, or do I just stay a loner because I don’t actually think people can reciprocate being a friend and go back to NYC every month? It’s worse than dating. I ALL I WANT IS PEOPLE TO GO EAT FOOD WITH AND DRINK WITH. Like, how fucking hard is that? Ugh. It’s frustrating and it gets me down.

But to answer your question (and end this sad sorry novel), New York City will always be there for me.

NEWER - OLDER