When you get bit by a snake, you’re supposed to suck the poison out.

That’s what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life.
- Mean Girls 

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I’ve always believed that if there was something or someone in your life that was making your life unpleasant or was a source of drama, you should just immediately cut that person out of your life. You know. They weren’t worth the added drama or headache of trying to figure that person out or the bs that they feed you.

And, I’ve recently done that. Cut people that aren’t worth my time, or worth me trying to be nice… and being constantly disappointed. But is that selfish? Do friendships work like that? You know, can you put a “bottom line” on what your friendship is worth or how much you’re willing to stand before you’re like… “FUCK THIS, I’M OVER THIS.”

Hell, I don’t like to be constantly screwed over by people who you have sort of high expectations of being friends. I’m the type of person to where when I first meet you, I can determine whether you’ll be a great friend or just some acquaintance or just someone who I party with… and I have a lot of those.

I don’t know. I’ve always loved the Lehigh bubble, where you only sit next to the people you know. You only party with the people you know. Sure, sometimes I act like I’m better than you. I rarely talk in some classes because I actually don’t know anyone in there slash I’m probably passed out because I pulled an all-nighter. But, people that I am now great friends with all say that I give that “I am better than you” vibe when they first meet me.

But, that’s why it’s always love/hate here. It’s just like high school. And why I constantly wish that I went to school in NYC, where you’ll just meet so many different people and not have to deal with these groups already formed and shit like that. I walk around campus and sometimes think, “Does that person know who I am?” And now since my blog has started circulating around Lehigh, I’m even more conscious of it. Just walking into the library this afternoon, I see strangers look up or whatever and I immediately think, “Does this person read this shit?”  ”Who recognizes me/knows who I am?” “Is it from my blog or just going out?” And… “What do they actually think?”

I have people who know me think that I’m a crazy party girl. Even when I go to class late, my friends asked if I did the walk of shame to class. Yeah, wtf? My thoughts exactly.

BUT MOVING ON, as I’ve grown older and “experienced more” and dealt with “life” I feel like I’ve definitely gotten more blunt and more direct when it comes to friendships/relationships. I used to be SOOOO against confrontation. I mean, I didn’t care if people confronted me, I just couldn’t do that to people. I just wanted everyone to generally like me… or have a good impression of me. But now, I see myself being more picky about who I spend my time with and who is actually worth my time.

Is that weird/messed up/wrong?

So, because of this… I was having uncessary drama, getting stressed about minor situations for no reason other than I guess my expectations weren’t being met. I am a firm believer of having good friends and maintaining those friendships. And even though someone once mentioned that I was basically opposed to new friendships, I set out to prove him wrong. I wasn’t still stuck in high school or Lehigh.

I put myself out there. I tried being a good friend… thinking that these people could be my great friends. But, it just didn’t work out like I imagined. And, I was constantly feeling stupid because of it. So I figured figured that I was perfectly happy when these people weren’t in my life so why not go back to that? Thus, I began to cut out people from my life, despite the fact that I really do enjoy when we do hang out.

However, in my opinion, the cons totally outweighed the pros. And, I’m all for logical reasoning… I don’t need to wait around for people. I don’t need to constantly change my plans or sacrifice my already built friendships and whatever stuff to end up thinking, “What a fool I am!”

I kept on making the same mistakes this entire semester. I’ve been trying think that people are generally good, even though I’ve been taught that people will take advantage of you if they can. And, then I realized that I’m getting fucked over and you know what?

I’m done.

I was stupid.

But a part of me is like we could have been great friends.

And like, was I just being irrational? And totally flipping out for nothing.

Or am I right?

I guess time will tell.

How do you determine if someone is an exception?